Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
