32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize