I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
