If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
