i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize