walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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