Having a random hookup so left but love u
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
