we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
