have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
