Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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