The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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