I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
