Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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