U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
