I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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