you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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