You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
