I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
