He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
