My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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