it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
