but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize