K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
