dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
