im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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