i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
