I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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