The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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