I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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