Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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