He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
