I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
