evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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