i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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