chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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