I think my vagina is haunted
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize