dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
