The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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