This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
