We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize