That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
