He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
