So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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