Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
