This girl is more easily done than said...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
