just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He felt like a one man threesome
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
