Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just gift wrapped bread.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize