Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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