I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
