For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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