well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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