When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
