i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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