When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
