I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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Randomize
