when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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