Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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